What goes in..... MUST COME OUT NOW!!!!

I never thought, in all my life, that I could care so much about what goes into and comes out of a person. I SO care now! There are no words that disarm and bring a mother to her knees like the words, "Mommy, hurry....poo poo!!" They never come at a convenient time. You're not ever IN the bathroom with NOTHING else going on, WAITING for the poo. No. You are in your car, or shopping with 3 kids, or at a packed restaraunt, or at a play ground with no bathroom in sight (YES, this has happened...I will kill the contractor if I ever find him)!!

If you live in the country you are usually better equipped to deal with excremental situations. A well placed tree or bush and the fact that NO ONE else is around...or at least it's people you know and they understand how wierd you are already! You are maybe out feeding chickens, or gardening, or hiking, or playing at the river, or hunting, or making mud pies..... In times such as these, all you need are mullein leaves (the big fuzzy ones) and a big rock.

I, however, cannot stand when the "sudden poo call" happens in the city! For starters you SHOULD be a paying customer to use the potty...especially when you are dragging 3 girls behind you. You aren't getting in there unnoticed. Also parking lots with trees are not to be considered off limits necessarily...but much better with #1 than #2, if you know what I mean. (Hey, I'm not above anything, in a desperate pinch. But that puts you in the hill billy catagory for sure. And I already have Idaho license plates in California.) So you have to mumble something to the cashier as you hustle past such as: "Man a cup of coffee sounds good..we'll be right back!" You are trying to come off cool, like the coffee is the REASON you're in there, while all the while hoping to God that the kid does not go in her pants....because that is NOT an option at this point. While you are in the bathroom you may as well make ALL the kids sit on the potty (which is never very clean). Inevitably, one of them will start crying and you may have to go out while the oldest one goes so she can concentrate or the 20 minutes you are already in there for will turn into 30. The coffee may make up for all the stress....I'm not sure about that though.

Aaaahhh, just last night I had a doozie! I have yet to SIT through a meal. So after the kids were done picking through their plates we kicked them outside to have some peace and quiet for 2 seconds. The table was jovial, with Travis, Uncle Jack, Cousins Brittany and Lacey, and myself. I am just STARTING to think, "Well, this is nice..." when Charlee Beth, 6, bursts through the door with the words I fear....

"Mom, Tenesee had an accident!"

Panic.

"Ugggh, did she pee her pants?"

"No...she pooped....but it didn't get on her pants."

(Oh no! What does this mean? How then is it an accident? Where is the poo?)

I bound up from my shattered moment of peace and trot out the door to see Tenesee squatting right in front of my camper steps. Hannah, 8, suddenly says, "oh no!", and picks the kid up off her pile. Apparently she was about to step in it. Tenesee starts screaming, "My poo poo, my poo poo!!", because at this point she's pretty proud of what she's made. The dog instantly seizes the moment he's been waiting for to jump on it like a T bone steak! The baby is now furious..."No, no, my poo poo, my poo poo!!!!"

And I wish at that very moment that I was at a 9-5 job where people don't poop on the ground...or ANYWHERE else they shouldn't. Aaaaaahhhhh. Needing a poo mantra.

Just take it one step at a time, Shannah. Just don't step IN it, Shannah. Are we defined by what we do? Are we defined by what we clean up?? Who else is really going to do this glorious job?? I don't think I could pay someone enough...not on my salary. And guess what? Our Mamas ALL cleaned up our $&*#! God bless them every one!