Just Keep Smiling

Grocery shopping, without kids in tow, is like a spa day. I never saw this coming. Before I had three beautiful girls, I never valued my “alone” time. In fact, I remember cruising the Riggins strip, bored, and wasting gas for the millionth time.

“We could go up River again.”

“We could cruise and think about it.”

Life is funny this way. What I used to think of as challenging doesn't compare to what I now consider easy. Calling the DMV was a hard task at 19. Scheduling, bills, and new responsibilities made my mind ache. Cleaning my van was also a difficult task. I would put it off until I couldn't find my shoes and then when I actually made heads or tails of something I would feel oh so proud of myself.

Then I had kids.

To get up the nerve to drive to town and do all of the errands, with a two year old and a newborn was scary. I would put it off until I was out of milk and toilet paper. Then I'd get up my nerve, pack my diaper bag, my back pack, and my fire hydrant and get ready for the town trip.

“What if the baby cries.....what if she poops?! What if the two year old throws a fit and runs away from me and I have to chase her with the baby in the front pack?! Okay, calm down. It will be over soon.”

Honestly, once I got out of that stage I wondered why it was so hard. I wondered why I had turned down all of those invitations to go to uncomfortable places where I couldn't pull out my “nursing facilities” and had no where to sit down to corral the two little squealing kids on my lap and pretend to smile. The stress that comes with the care giving of little humans is intense but short lived. As soon as I would get used to one “stage” it would be over and we'd be onto a new one that I knew nothing about.

I quickly learned tricks that come second nature these days:

• Make breakfast right away. If you feed them, they stay quiet.
• Always take snacks and water bottles wherever you go.
• Always take books, crayons, paper, toys, and a trash bag wherever you go.
• Always take extra baby clothes wherever you go.
• Always take an extra Mom shirt wherever you go....baby spit up stinks.
• Never underestimate the power of a tub of wet wipes....for all ages.
• If you leave the Canyon in February, don't forget to change your flip-flops...it's not spring anywhere else!!
• Whenever anyone asks you what you've been up to do not answer, “Oh, nothing...” Look at that list above!!! It took you an hour just to load everyone in the car!

So, when I get a chance, at 35, to leave the Littles behind and venture off to town by myself, I take it. And, I also give the disclaimer, before I leave, “Don't wonder where I am, and what took me so long. This is my salon day.” That way, when I run into a friend I haven't seen in a while or when I get to visiting over the price of avocados with the produce lady, there are no worries. Mommy needs to talk to adults that aren't asking where the stapler is or telling me what sissy did wrong. Sanity lies in the fringes.

It's a little bit different now. It truly does get easier. Instead of trying to smile through the stress of the screaming three year old and pretending it's okay, I turn to the nine year old and ask her calmly to unload the grocery cart while the seven year old holds my purse. Then I grab up the tyrant and off we trundle to the bathroom where all things meaningful are sorted out. When we emerge shining and triumphant, I can hope and trust that the older of my girls have been responsible and polite and all I need to do is pay the nice lady and get on my way to the next stop, which is hopefully my house.

With older kids as examples, it's so much easier to say, “Is anyone else yelling and throwing a fit?” The three year old wipes her eyes, sniffs, and looks around. They smile down at her. Peer pressure at it's finest!

But, don't quote me just yet. I know I will freak out again before it's all over with...maybe today. I know that right when I think I have it all together it will fall apart...just sometimes. I will juggle, not three, but four kids soon. I will learn things I didn't know I knew.

There will be those certain days when I should have just stayed home and said, “Screw the 8-hr-only produce sale and the three green peppers for a dollar. Let's watch another movie and brush each others hair.” The days when I decide to force things to happen, just to prove what a She-Woman I really am, are the days that I usually wad up my pretty little list and toss it over my shoulder in surrender and defeat.

Time to admit I'm just human. Time to forget about the stuffed chicken breasts with spinach salad and that really good homemade dressing. Time to grab for the jar of Prego. Spaghetti it is... and let the dishes sit. They'll be there in the morning, all crusty and ready for some lovin' and hot water. And the longer my Boyfriend and I are married the more keen he is on getting that look when he walks through the door. “Don't even ask if I got that thing done for the thing.....I'm here and dinner is made and I'm still sane. Just tell me I look pretty even if I am pregnant...again!” And he does. And we snuggle in and say, “What a beautiful family we have!” (Spaghetti faces and all!)