Understandabilityness

There is a list of words that need to be in the dictionary. For starters let's just say "funner". I like that word and the fact that it is not a word is annoying. "More fun" isn't near as fun as "funner".

"It was funner bringing the dog on the sled."
"Oh, my gosh, that was so much funner!"

Charlee Beth invented a word when she was about three. I would say something like, "Charlee please don't pull on that." She would reply with, "I amn't". You may need to say this one over a couple of times. The contraction is formed with "am not." Kinda like"is not", or "isn't." A little like "are not," or "aren't." You get the picture. Amn't. It's a good word. I am putting it in my school dictionary of new words.

Who has the power to make words? We do. But who are the dudes who are writing them and making them into real words? Is there a government branch in charge of this? Hmmm. Webster would flip in his grave to see the dictionary now.

My husband is grand for creating wordal novelties. (Hey, "wordal"....that's a pretty good one, too!) But, Travis came up with "rotisserate". This is a verb and you do it while standing around a very hot campfire. It is a combination of the word "rotate" and "rotisserie". This makes complete and total sense and from now on you will not be able to spin around the fire without thinking, "I am rotisserating!"

Aside from being funner, another great thing about inventing words is that you can also invent their spelling. I cannot spell "rotisserate" incorrectly. When I push the spell check icon, do you know how many words are already highlighted in yellow?? A lot. But, guess what....I don't care. I am president of the word bureau right now and I do not have listen to spell check because it obviously hasn't gotten the new updated memo including these fine words.

How about words that babies can't pronounce correctly and we all start saying them because they are cute?:

picey=spicy
bess=dress
peez=please
na noo=thank you
shoshun=lotion
noonees=noodles
wuv ooo=love you
tiss=kiss
queer=clear!
etc., etc.,

In life we cling to these sweet familiar mispronounced words because it stops these babies from aging. The way they see the world also slows us down. Why explain that "arm pat" is really "arm pit" until their friends laugh at them? We love these things that make us all unique. They are our trademark, our tattoo of love from the innocent eyes that look up and say, "Mom, do you have enough engury to make me some smoothie?"

"That's energy, honey, and yes I do!"

The trivia game that I bought the girls for Christmas was purely educational.....I thought. I didn't have a clue that my $7 would bring so much laughter to our home.

Question: Correct this sentence, "She ain't my friend anymore."
Hannah's answer: She is my friend again!

Wow! That's exactly the way to "correct" that sentence. Make up and get over it. You can still be friends even when you don't agree. Who wrote this stuff?

Question: If a man has a wife, a woman has a.....?
Charlee's answer: A baby!

Well, there's no reason to take that one further. I mean that's common sense right there. We did it three times! We have photo albums. There's mom and dad when they were "SO young!" There's mom and dad with their new puppy. There's mom and dad's wedding. OH!!, there's baby pictures, and lots of them! Yes, when and man has a wife, a woman has a baby. That's scientific brilliance, at it's finest.

These times of precious innocence, I cherish. These little glimpses into simple pure thought, unstained by a busy world of, "No, this is how it really is!" I enjoy watching them. I enjoy seeing what they will deduce from a situation; how they will solve the problem. There is wonderment and curiosity in everything. This is how we are meant to be. I want to pick up that flower and look at it for too long. I want to play a make believe game and never leave the beach until it's so dark that Daddy carries me to the car! (But, somebody, has to make dinner and clean the house!) There are things that I KNOW because I'm 34 yrs old, and there are things that I have forgotten because I'm 34 yrs old.

We come into this life as little scientists, ready to learn and experiment and prove, and prove again. "Is the fire really hot? OWWW....yeah, you weren't a kiddin', Mom!" And, that right there is why we are given big, tall, strong, smart parents to keep us ALIVE while we are experimenting with the world. When the experiments fail and the "wings" we built to "fly" off the porch roof didn't work, it's our brilliant parents who are standing there, hands on their hips, first aid kit at the ready to tell us, "WHAT were you thinking you crazy kid?? I told you to keep your feet on the ground!" (Good thing, the Wright brothers didn't listen too closely...thanks for speedy travel, boys!)

















Too many no's upset our growth and balance, as do, too many yes's. We need contraction and expansion. We need chaos and order. We need quiet and noise. We need movies and hikes. We need bacon and grapefruits. We need sleep and wake, up and down to make us learn and grow. What a beautiful thing this life is!! I have a deep compassion for thought that goes off of the mainstream; minds that work on double artistic time. My love goes out to the frustrated hands thrown in the air chirping, "WHY?!"
"Really, kid, I don't know why, a lot of the time! No body does. But, this way works, and if you can show me another way that fits into my slot of safe, intelligent, and timely...then we can work this out!"

For years I would get distracted with my homework. I would be inventing a story next to the history lesson, just to make it even MORE interesting. I still got the work done and I got good grades, but it was boring just following the curriculum. There had to be more to that Columbus story....stuff they didn't know because they didn't have a camera crew. We took the word of some dudes that kept journals and no pictures! So pretty soon I took to doing my homework with my walkman on and Pearl Jam playing guitar riffs in my ears. It took that creative part of my mind and occupied it so I could be freed up to learn about lipids and white blood cells. It allowed my thought to travel and complete itself. It kept me interested. Now, my mother, who is a VERY understanding and excepting woman, questioned this...repeatedly. But, as it proved to work for me, she allowed me to do it. Just because it's not standard doesn't mean it's not right.

We are all unique and beautifully built. And, if I spend my time trying to change the way that my kids think and believe, so much, that I miss what they are trying to show me....then I'm the one being unteachable. It's a creative dance that we do, keeping our families together. We can't read each other's minds. We must communicate. And, to communicate, we must LISTEN. As a good friend once told me...."That's why God gave us two ears and one mouth, because we are supposed to listen twice as much as we talk." That is dang good advice for all of us. Our way is not the only way. The minute I think I'M right....I am missing a golden nugget somewhere. Love passes ALL understanding! Love drives away ALL fear.

So, as the dictionary in my life expands and the collective books of my family are filled I will turn my mouth off and my ears on. I will correct only the mean behavior that stems from some overlooked burden in her little soul. I will hug, and love, and explain, and swat, and hug again. I will listen and try my best to understand. I will not give up when the dark clouds roll in and the wind doesn't cease, because there is a calm after the storm. There is relief and understanding to be had. It's much FUNNER, and I AMN'T gonna miss it!

You're Aiming Way Too High!

To change I must be entirely sick of my current situation. Kind of like a baby sitting in a dirty diaper and crying because she missed her nap hours ago. It's just got to happen. Change for the better, change for self preservation and sanity.

So I have embarked on a mission to be perfect. Yes, perfect. It's already happening. I shaved. I started a workout routine. I am drinking fresh juice and lemon water. I am not drinking beer at noon. I am eating a diet of glowing, fresh vegetables, fruits, nuts, and seeds. I am not eating Doritos with my beer at noon. I have added yoga to my day. I am watching my words and having patience. I am drinking my tea with my pinkie out. I am writing lists and checking them off. Whew! It's hard work being perfect.















But, at every turn of this mission of mine, people are out to thwart me. And they are all shorter and younger than me. They all look a bit Hollonish...yes, they are my little girls.

I was in the middle of my glorious, very serene, yoga session yesterday when I experienced the first attack. The windows were open and the fresh morning breeze was blowing in on me, while I took my deep breaths and stretched my spine. But, I hadn't started early enough to avoid the crowd, apparently. Out of the room walked the 9 year old. She took the seat nearest my mat on the floor and just watched me with interest...about two feet from my face. I was still trying to concentrate but, surely, it was wavering. The door opened again, and out walked the 6 year old. She took the seat next to her sister and stared. My dear little asana began to falter. (It is already hard enough doing my exercise on the camper floor, where I have about six square feet to move around in.) I no longer felt like a swan, but more like an animal behind glass at the zoo.

Then the questions started.

"Mom, why didn't Harry Potter just tell Dumbledore about the book?"

1,2,3,4,5-concentrate, Shoshannah-6,7-

"Mom, can I make pancakes this morning?"

10,11,12,13-breathe deep, now-

"Mom, when is summer warm enough that we can swim?"

"Mom, what is a mammal?"

No proper yogi can endure this barrage of random mind stealing thoughts. But, a perfect person can. Because a perfect person knows that the yoga isn't more important than little sweet girls that need answers to their curious questions. To get frustrated with them isn't a solution to my concentration problem. I just need to take that "relax" part in the yoga book and change the meaning to "help small children start their day." There is no need to fume, "Girls, give me ten more minutes!"

I smiled in spite of myself, as I looked into their glowing wondering eyes. This is why you don't take your offspring to real yoga classes. You wouldn't need the little bell to rouse you from your silent happy place. Tenesee would just holler, "Mom, I gotta poo poo, " and the spell would be broken. A perfect person's solution to the dilemma...get up earlier tomorrow!

There is no way to escape the things that make life "normal." The baby will puke on my shirt. The mail will drop in the puddle. The debit card will mysteriously not work with that pin number that I'm sure is the right one. The gas will run out in the car. The bike will have a flat tire. The 6 year old will spill milk down the entire front of the cupboard and into the drawers. The spouse will say the wrong thing, or the right thing at the wrong time. The toilet will get plugged. The 3 year old will break that beautiful serving bowl. The car will get stuck in the snow. The computer will lose connection right when I am almost done with my application!



















And during all of this "normalness" I will throw my hands in the air and yell, "Ugh! I am NOT my situation. This is NOT happening, is it?!" But it is happening. And I must deal with it. I must smile, laugh and act generally undisturbed by it because I am on the quest of perfection. I can't permit it to unravel my day.

But, back when I wasn't perfect...I just might not have handled it so well. I might have cried. I might have paced up and down the living room randomly muttering a phrase of confusion over and over again until the kids asked tentatively, "Mom, are you okay?"

I might have said something nasty to the phone lady who over charged me for the third time in a row. It might not have been something you would want to repeat with small children in the room...oh yeah, there were small children in the room.

I might have thrown things. Just maybe. I might have given that little toy, that was left on the floor for the 100th time, and feels just like a pine cone on my bear foot at 3 a.m., a severe pelting against the wall.

Wow. It's a good thing that I'll never do that again, now that I'm perfect!

Instead I will analyze the situation and say to myself, "What can we learn from this?" I will speak calmly and firmly to the phone lady. I will wince with pain as I step on the toy and place it quietly in the toy basket with a shaky smile, "Those darling kids." I will breathe deep and patiently set the 2 year old on her bed while she cries because she can't have candy for breakfast. Then I will hold her close and try to understand how hard it is to be a sugar addict!

The sun is shining now and the smell of cut grass is floating through the air. The sound of the birds and the distant sound of the lawn mower are reminding me that summer is just around the corner. The day is new again. What a gift. It's time to practice opening up and letting go. It's time to remember who I was and who I am and who I want to be. It's a day for fresh lemonade and no mistakes!

And perfect?...well, it's in the eye of the beholder. Because, guess what, I already am. Even when I yell and even when I cry and even when I forget to laugh and even when I skip my yoga and drink coffee instead...I am still the me I am supposed to be. Because, I don't believe in mistakes. I don't believe that life is too hard to handle. I don't believe in "Oh, I wish I would've done it that way!" It doesn't exist. The past is passed! There are only the beautiful reminders of those days, that I choose to keep around.

















When I open the boxes of pictures that span over 30 years and when I read those journals I hear the voice of a child, teenager, lady, and a woman in the making. I laugh at the changes I have made and I shake my head in disbelief at the way I am still the same. Because we are all perfect people, just surrounded by imperfect circumstances. We do get to choose our reactions though, and they may as well be good ones, worthy of the history books. I want to laugh at my mistakes and I want to teach my girls to do the same. Life isn't always easy, but, then again, no on ever said it would be!